Every year there is a “Song of the Summer”. It’s played on every radio station at least once per hour. If you listen to anything other than talk radio, chances are you can’t avoid it. It’s on television, the Internet, and every teen’s iPod. And once you’ve heard it, it is in your head for months.

This year, the song that seemed to be inescapable was “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke, featuring T.I. and Pharrrell. Now, this song is one of those songs that is, literally, on ALL THE TIME. Radio, iPod, television, Internet, or some kid singing off key on the sidewalk – it’s all “Blurred Lines”. And it doesn’t stop there.

The video for this song is absurd and features a bunch of models in plastic flesh colored bikinis walking and dancing around the singers. Just when you think, “How sexist can you get?” you see the uncensored version on the Internet where the same models do the same things but (what a twist!) they are topless. The song is about sex, so there you go.

But wait. There’s more. There’s the VMAs.

We’ve been waiting to see what child star would crack next and it looks like it’s Miley Cyrus’s turn. After prancing around in a weird teddy bear bathing suit, she stripped it off and SURPRISE she’s in a flesh colored bikini and singing with Robin Thicke, who is wearing Beetlejuice’s suit from 1988, and waving a number one big fan hand thing with painted on nails (backwards, by the way – look at the way the fingernails face). Now, this was bad enough. But it got worse.

Miley then began a series of weird tongue gyrations that reminded me of Gene Simmons back in the old KISS days and started using her big fan hand finger for naughty things. It was on Robin Thicke’s crotch, between her own legs from the front and the back, and is probably becoming mass produced for the sex toy market as we speak.

If this wasn’t enough to wipe sweet little Hannah Montana from your memory, she twerks. If you don’t know what twerking is, Urban Dictionary defines it as “The rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy extremities in a lascivious manner with the intent to elicit sexual arousal or laughter in ones intended audience”. Miley wasn’t getting laughs. She bent over at the waist, backed up to Robin Thicke’s “lower fleshy extremities” and twerked her little behind off. With her tongue out. And the giant finger between her legs. It was horrifying.

Now, let’s put this in context. Had Lady Gaga done it, it would have been no big deal. She’s naked and gyrating most of the time anyway (with the exception of her bizarre sub-standard VMA performance, but that’s off topic). Katy Perry? Eh. Not so bad. But Miley Cyrus? She isn’t even 21 years old and spent 4 seasons and 2 movies as the cute teen singer Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel. Robin Thick is 36, married, and has a three year old son. That seems really creepy, now, doesn’t it?

I wonder if Lady Gaga is jealous that her seashell and G-string didn’t get the same attention…

Everything is moving online. Even dating. Women want to meet you before they meet you. But how can you impress a woman with nothing but typing? How much will they trust is true? Is it really possible to meet someone real?

Before we talk specific sites, there are a few things that you can do that apply to all of them. First, if you want to make sure the woman you are talking to is really who she says she is, go to http://www.google.com/imghp. This is the Google search by image site that Nev uses on the Catfish television show. I don’t know why more people don’t use it. You can search by an image URL or download the woman’s picture and then upload it to Google search. The results may just show you that the image was taken from someone else’s social media page or another source. Or it may confirm their identity. That’s insurance against ending up wasting time with liars.

Speaking of liars… don’t lie in your profile. Some of these sites ask tons of questions and some ask none. But whatever you do, if you are really serious about finding dates, don’t lie. Be yourself. If you end up on a date, the real you has to show up, so you may as well start out on the right foot. Now, this does not mean you have to disclose everything about yourself. Just don’t lie.

A lot of women on dating sites are cautious. Asking them to Skype with you the first time you talk may scare them off. They have had their fair share of men showing them private parts on chatroulette instead of having a nice chat. Get to know a woman a little bit before you ask for a real life date or a Skype conversation. I met a woman who said that the first thing one guy said to her on speeddate.com was his penis size. Three more mentioned sex within the first minute. Sure, the chats are only about 5 minutes unless you pay for more time, but that’s like asking her if she’s a hooker. Moving on…

There’s a plethora of dating sites out there. Some are legit and some are really questionable. I checked out some of the sites that I’ve seen advertised and I’d like to share a little about what I’ve learned about them… and the people who use them.

All of the sites that offer free options don’t give you much. They will allow a profile to be made and maybe show you some matches, but there’s no communicating unless you pay. The sites for seriously looking for dates would be match.com and eharmony.com. The sketchier sites – and by that I mean the ones that I wouldn’t use seriously – are speeddate.com, twoo.com (unless you think that online games rating other matches is fun), and datehookup.com which allows all free forum communication – most of which is smut.

If you decide to try out a dating site, be prepared to pay for a membership if you expect any real results. And it will take time. Just like in real life. There is no magic scientific formula for finding the perfect woman. But if you just want to talk smut to her, you know what URL to use tonight.